Date:	2005-03-09 02:06
Subject:	...
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	The Helio Sequence

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that Band:

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

Are you female or male: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison

Describe yourself: Headfirst For Halos

How do some people feel about you: To The End

How do you feel about yourself: Thank You For The Venom

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Romance

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: The Ghost Of You

Describe where you want to be: This Is The Best Day Ever

Describe what you want to be: I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

Describe how you live: Drowning Lessons

Describe how you love: Demolition Lovers

Share a few words of wisdom: Give 'Em Hell, Kid


JIMMY EAT WORLD


Are you female or male: Caveman

Describe yourself: Rockstar

How do some people feel about you: Thinking, That's All

How do you feel about yourself: Robot Factory

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: The World You Love

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: Just Tonight

Describe where you want to be: Sweetness

Describe what you want to be: Nothingwrong

Describe how you live: Believe What You Want

Describe how you love: For Me This Is Heaven

Share a few words of wisdom: Just Watch The Fireworks

My biggest fear is being alone, but strangely it didn't hit me too hard this year. I remembered last year's Valentine's Day, and some other things that could have really depressed me, but it was more nostalgic than anything else. I called Millie to wish her a happy Valentine's Day, and it wasn't even painful. I just enjoyed talking to her and left it at that.
I didn't feel loved this year, but I got to hang out with some good friends instead. When I was at Buffalo Wild Wings I didn't even remember that it was Valentine's Day. Comradery is pretty cool.

This song always makes me really happy:


The mama pajama rolled out of bed
And she ran to the police station
When the papa found out he began to shout
And he started the investigation
It’s against the law
It was against the law
What the mama saw
It was against the law

The mama looked down and spit on the ground
Everytime my name gets mentioned
The papa said oy if I get that boy
I’m gonna stick him in the house of detention
Well I’m on my way
I don’t know where I’m going
I’m on my way

I’m taking my time
But I don’t know where
Goodbye to rosie the queen of corona
See you, me and julio
Down by the schoolyard
See you, me and julio
Down by the schoolyard
Me and julio down by the schoolyard

In a couple of days they come and take me away
But the press let the story leak
And when the radical priest
Come to get me released
We was all on the cover of newsweek
And I’m on my way
I don’t know where I’m going
I’m on my way

I’m taking my time
But I don’t know where
Goodbye to rosie the queen of corona
See you, me and julio
Down by the schoolyard
See you, me and julio
Down by the schoolyard
Me and julio down by the schoolyard

just got caught drinking at the dorm
we rule so hard

Date:	2004-12-14 04:46
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	cynical
Music:	the streets - dry your eyes

man...

i think i make everything harder than its supposed to be

its like everything is spinning around above my head and i have to jump up and catch the pieces of my life, one at a time



my heart has stopped beating so i take it to the grave
my feelings buried deep cus im hoping to be saved
remembering "i love you" and every time crying
this is me saying that i wouldve died trying

Just because I don't say anything,
Doesn't mean I don't like you.
I open my mouth and I try and i try
But no words came out.

Without 40 oz. of social skills
I'm just an ass in the crack of humanity.
I'm just a huge manitee.
A huge manitee.

And besides you're probably holding hands
With some skinny, pretty girl that likes to
Talk about bands and
All I wana do is ride bikes with you
And stay up late and watch cartoons.

Duck Tales, shirt tails, Talespin, Sailor Moon, GI Joe, Robotech, Ron Jeremy, Schmoo.

I wanna watch cartons with you.
Josie and the Pussycats and Scooby Do,
I want you to watch cartoons with me.
He-man, Voltron and Hong-Kong-Fui

I tried to ask you to your face
But no words came out.
I put on my hood and walked away,
That doosn't mean I don't like you.

And besides your probably holding hands
With some skinny, pretty girl that likes to
Talk about bands and
All I wanna do is ride bikes with you,
And stay up late and maybe spoon.

Just becase I dont say anything
Doesn't mean I dont like you.
No...
I opened my mouth and i tried and i tried.

And besides you're probably holding hands
With some skiny, pretty girl that likes to
Talk about bands and
All I wanna do is ride bikes with you.
And stay up late and watch cartoons.

I'm just your average Thundercats ho.

Date:	2004-10-18 02:04
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	numb
Music:	my chemical romance - im not ok

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.
One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.
“This is amazing,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you’re the 100% perfect girl for me.”
“And you,” she said to him, “are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I’d pictured you in every detail. It’s like a dream.”
They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. It’s a miracle, a cosmic miracle.
As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one’s dreams to come true so easily?
And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, “Let’s test ourselves – just once. If we really are each other’s 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we’ll marry then and there. What do you think?”
“Yes,” she said, “that is exactly what we should do.”
And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.
The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other’s 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.
One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season’s terrible influenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D.H. Lawrence’s piggy bank.
They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.
Time passes with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.
One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, both along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in the chest. And they knew:
She is the 100% perfect girl for me.
He is the 100% perfect boy for me.
But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fourteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.
A sad story, don’t you think?


From Haruki Murakami’s “On Seeing The 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning” which appears in his book, The Elephant Vanishes.

It was my birthday yesterday, I'm 19 now.
I only wanted 2 things really bad for my birthday, and I got one of them. The one that I didn't get wasn't really very realistic to hope for. Maybe you can guess what it was. Anyway, on the whole, things turned out pretty well this year.
In other news, I don't really like school very much, and I'm not sure exactly what that means for me and my future. Oh well.
I go to Buffalo Wild Wings a lot now, almost every week.
I work at WONC and do traffic, but I'm too afraid to be a real DJ.
Trimesters suck.
I don't have any direction or goals in my life, and I don't really even have a reason to get out of bed in the morning, other than the rank-ass taste thats always in my mouth in the mornings.
I'm not really sure what to do about all that.
I miss seeing people every day.

Rise Against and My Chemical Romance are sweet.

Date:	2004-08-31 20:23
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lonely
Music:	HIM - The Funeral of Hearts

while i'm still pro-livejournal, i don't know if i will ever write anything again. i can't think of anything to say that won't sound like i'm asking for pity.


so, that's where i'm at.

Date:	2004-08-23 13:47
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	frustrated
Music:	coheed and cambria - in keeping secrets of silent earth: 3

almost everyone is gone to their respective schools...
this blows.

im going to colorado until the 9th.
woo

miss me?

eh, poo.
sometimes i just don't know.

"...but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."
-Lester Burnham

AMERICAN BEAUTY

Date:	2004-06-26 00:20
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	grateful
Music:	fatboy slim - the rockefeller skank

Yesterday and today i had freshman orientation for north central. thursday was pretty sweet, just chillin like villains and meeting people and stuff. then we slept in a dorm, which was lame, and then this morning/ afternoon, we met with advisors and stuff and chose some classes. lame.

I just got my first real paycheck from my new job... 76.5 hours on this one. i dont think i deserve this.



Anyway, i was just chillin with amelia, and im in a better mood than i have been for at least a week.

Some moments are timeless. they are to be loved. i am truly sorry if you dont understand.


There's a quote from "American Beauty" that suits the way i feel now. ricky says it, about how he sees so much beauty in the world, and is overwhelmed. its one of the best quotes ever, and its in Alamo Sam's away message a lot of the time. so, if someone knows the quote, please post it.

WOW,
mark

so millie's out of town for a week. gah.

Date:	2004-06-03 23:22
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	crappy
Music:	blink 182 - down

i have a new job. i have to leave my house at 7;30am and ride for an hour to get there. i do lots of bullshit work that the real computer guys dont want to do. then i ride another hour home in the stopandgo rush hour traffic. ive worked for 2 days, and it feels like a month. if this doesnt get better i dont know what im gonna do. i hate it so far tho.

Date:	2004-05-26 02:49
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	lazy
Music:	children of bodom

so high school is over, and i can't help but feel exactly the same. this year felt the same as last year, and now that its over, im not excited. i think im the only one who doesnt care one way or the other about graduating. i dont see it as a real accomplishment. if you can't graduate high school, do us a favor and get sterilized and go work at 711. graduating is not an achievement.

i envy everyone who is excited to go to college. everyone who is looking forward to their future plans.

this summer im working full time in itasca. i wont be around at all until around 6:30 PM on weekdays. havent decided yet if thats good. just seems like another thing to take up time until something real comes along.

oh well, i guess thats just how it goes.

Post a memory of me in the comments. It can be anything you want.

yesterday at lunch millie decided that she wanted to go to the aquarium like nothing else... so we did. we left right after school. we walked around shedd aquarium for 2 hours and saw a dolphin show. it was pretty cool. then we walked up the pier thing that all the museums were on and just sat and talked and people-watched and looked at the lake and city. people-watching is so fun. there was a lot of people fishing and barbequeing. i decided that im really pissed, cus i never have real BBQs. im doing that this summer. with no fucking propane.
it was like the first day of summer... but i have to go back to school more still. lame.
senior spectacular had better blow my fuckin face off with its spectacularness.
hoot,
mark

Date:	2004-04-04 00:27
Subject:	i stole this from angie -- hoot
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry
Music:	arch enemy -- enemy within

Fill in the blanks::

1. I ____ Mark.
2. Mark is ____.
3. Mark needs _____.
4. I want to ____ Mark.
5. Mark can ____ my ____.
6. Someday Mark will _____.
7. Mark reminds me of _____.
8. Without Mark _____.
9. Mark can be _____.
10. Worst thing about Mark is _____.
11. Best thing about Mark is _____.
12. I am _____ Mark.
13. I think Mark should ______.

going to ohio tomorrow... be back friday night.
amelia is coming, which is awesome.
later.